Purple Badgers and Social Care

Really try hard not to think about a purple badger

Now having mentioned the purple badger it is probably highly likely that, in an attempt not to think about a purple badger that you have naturally conjured up an image of one so that you can try to not think about it! If I were more conventionally minded I probably would have said try not to think about a pink elephant, but now that I have said it has the pink elephant replaced the purple badger in your mind? Or are the pink elephant and purple badger co-exiting in multi-coloured animal harmony?

Naturally I do have a point about this.

To move to a less abstract level, have you ever witnessed someone saying to someone else, “mind the plate it is hot” and the instant reaction of the other person is to unconsciously actually touch the plate to verify that? Children are usually the best example to see this phenomenon in action – saying “don’t step in that puddle” invariable ends up in wet shoes and muddy clothes!

Language can be a powerful thing and what we say can have an impact on the behaviour of others.

Of course there is nothing new about this. Advertisers, marketers and politicians have been using various language techniques to tempt us, draw us in or deflect us for years. And, obviously, it is not an exact science. How we react to what someone says to us varies according to our own perceptions, views and upbringing. So if I were advertising bacon sandwiches you would have to actually like them before any advertising had any impact, and no amount of suggestion of sweet smelling, succulently crisp bacon being taken from the sizzling pan and being placed on deliciously soft freshly cooked bread would work.

So what does this have to do with social care I hear you ask (with a mouth full of bacon sandwich!)

Social care is intensely people orientated. Care workers work face to face with those who need care services, social care leaders supervise and manage those social care workers and the social care leaders interact with other agencies and in order to achieve the best possible care and support down the line we have to be aware of the power of language and the effect in can have on those we speak to.

Imagine a supervision where the manager tells a staff member that that must stop acting so defensively, the usual reaction is to say “I’m not being defensive” in a very defensive manner. If the manager were to say, “it would be good if you allowed yourself to relax more at work” then the reaction would be different and while the person may not actually relax now they would not have the image of being defensive.

Similarly, if a person with challenging behaviours were told to stop being aggressive they have to think about being aggressive before being able to stop it! This is particularly problematic when the individual does not perceive themselves as being aggressive in the first place. In such instances it is far better to focus on positive words such as relax, calm etc, (although calm down can be an issue – calm down from what?) as these words are better suited to the state you wish the person to achieve.

Even on a minor level we have to be careful what words we use. If I were to say – don’t forget to share this blog with others – the possibility is that you would forget! Yet if I said  REMEMBER to share this blog with others I am far more likely to get a positive result.

If you have read this far the purple badgers have probably slipped from your mind, oops they are back again! But in the future any time pink elephants are mentioned you’ll naturally have an image of purple badgers too!

Language is intensely powerful and it is important that, in social care, we are aware of this power. It is by no means easy to consciously and continuously control what you say to others but we have to be aware that the behaviours of others can be a direct result of what we have said rather than being something totally disconnected from us. Effective communication is the cornerstone of quality care and support and must be one of the key skills that is taught at all levels of social care, if we do not understand the importance of communication and language how can we effectively communicate with those who need care services and those we work with.

Communicating Leadership

Whenever you attend any seminars or courses about communication you will usually be told that communication is made up of three elements, words, tone and body language and while these are important elements in immediate face to face communication successfully communication over a period of time depends on one other very important element – behaviour.

How we act sends messages equally, if not more powerfully, than the words, tone and body language we use.

Imagine, for example, the office manager who eloquently extols the virtues of hard work, putting our noses to the grindstone and pulling out all the stops to ensure everyone in the team benefits from the rewards of hard work, who, then, returns to their office to put their feet up while everyone works their fingers to the bone.

Or, perhaps, visualise the Care Home owner who promises prospective clients and their families the best possible care package with person centred approaches and high quality care services but then delivers run of the mill services which are of no real benefit to any individual.

In such instances the message eventually being sent is one of incongruence and leads to distrust of the words, tone and body language being used.

While distrust is the first element of such incongruence in the workplace situation things will inevitably deteriorate further.

As human beings we are more likely to emulate the behaviour of others rather than their professed principles and if someone in a senior role is being incongruent then it is their behaviour that will be unconsciously copied as how they behave is an indication of how they achieved their senior role.

Successful leadership is therefore as much about communicating behaviour as it is about using words, tone and body language.

Naturally the successful leader ‘practices what they preach’ rather than take the ‘do as I say not do as I do’ attitude. The successful leader is a part of the team and encourages the rest by example as much as by other methods of communication.

Honesty is also an integral part in successful leadership. A leader should be prepared to admit they don’t know something but, at the same time, make a commitment to find out. This encourages other members of the team to take the same attitude rather than create a situation where people are afraid to ask for help when they need it.

Successful leadership is about attitude, behaviour and actions as it is about words, tone and body language and all of these elements constitute communication. Communicating leadership is a vitally important element of success and those who consider themselves leaders should be wary of incongruence and creating distrust and poor behaviour in their team.

"Don't Swear In Front of the Children" - Leadership Thinking

                Leadership has become a common theme in social care and the need for effective leadership is important in all areas of business but what does effective leadership actually mean?

                A search on Amazon for ‘Leadership’ bring up the option of quite a few thousand books and among these will be many different theories and techniques on leadership but one important aspect of leadership is only given cursory mention and that is acting as a role model.

                Anybody who has studied Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) will be familiar with the concept of modelling. The theory here is that it is possible to replicate the excellence of others by observing and replicating what they do (in terms of behaviour and physiology), how they do it (such as internal thinking etc) and why they do it (beliefs, motivations etc.), if these can be replicated then it should be possible to achieve the same success.

                This theory is very revealing especially if we look at it the other way around!

                At an instinctive level how do we learn? For the moment ignore all the different theories on learning styles etc and think about the basic, primeval way in which we learn. We learn by observing and replicating behaviour. This is how we do it from the moment we are born. We emulate the behaviour of our parents and we often develop the same beliefs and ideals that surround us as we grow up. As parents we often try to control the way that we behave in front of the kids to ensure they do not emulate some of the less desirable adult traits or use of language.

These instilled values, beliefs and behaviours may change as we interact with others at school and as our interactions with others influence our lives, we seek the best models to emulate to improve our lives.

                As a simplistic illustration how often do we see people who have been bullied become bullies themselves? Obviously this is a vague generalisation and certainly not true in many instances but it always seems to make sense because that is how, at a basic level, we understand learning behaviour and the idea that a successful behaviour (e.g. bullying without being caught doing it) can reap benefits in our lives.

                It is this basic, instinctual level of learning that is so important in the workplace.

                Effective leadership means acting and behaving in the way that you want your staff team to act.

                The ‘do as I say don’t do as I do’ style of leadership is inevitably doomed because of the unconscious instinct to replicate the behaviour of those in immediate authority.  When a boss tells staff to do this and that and work harder then disappears into his office for a rest what do the rest of the staff do? Chances are that they, too, stop working or at least slow down the pace at which they work.

                Whereas a leader who is enthusiastic and seen to be working hard is likely to inspire the same in their team with little need to actually express that ethic in words.

                Effective leadership is leading by example, being a role model to all staff and if we are to improve leadership skills across the care sector we need to focus on imparting the skills needed to be an effective role model  across the many and varied organisations that provide care.