Really try
hard not to think about a purple badger
Now having
mentioned the purple badger it is probably highly likely that, in an attempt
not to think about a purple badger that you have naturally conjured up an image
of one so that you can try to not think about it! If I were more conventionally
minded I probably would have said try not to think about a pink elephant, but
now that I have said it has the pink elephant replaced the purple badger in
your mind? Or are the pink elephant and purple badger co-exiting in
multi-coloured animal harmony?
Naturally I
do have a point about this.
To move to a
less abstract level, have you ever witnessed someone saying to someone else, “mind
the plate it is hot” and the instant reaction of the other person is to unconsciously
actually touch the plate to verify that? Children are usually the best example
to see this phenomenon in action – saying “don’t step in that puddle”
invariable ends up in wet shoes and muddy clothes!
Language can
be a powerful thing and what we say can have an impact on the behaviour of
others.
Of course
there is nothing new about this. Advertisers, marketers and politicians have
been using various language techniques to tempt us, draw us in or deflect us
for years. And, obviously, it is not an exact science. How we react to what
someone says to us varies according to our own perceptions, views and
upbringing. So if I were advertising bacon sandwiches you would have to
actually like them before any advertising had any impact, and no amount of
suggestion of sweet smelling, succulently crisp bacon being taken from the sizzling
pan and being placed on deliciously soft freshly cooked bread would work.
So what does
this have to do with social care I hear you ask (with a mouth full of bacon
sandwich!)
Social care
is intensely people orientated. Care workers work face to face with those who
need care services, social care leaders supervise and manage those social care
workers and the social care leaders interact with other agencies and in order
to achieve the best possible care and support down the line we have to be aware
of the power of language and the effect in can have on those we speak to.
Imagine a
supervision where the manager tells a staff member that that must stop acting
so defensively, the usual reaction is to say “I’m not being defensive” in a
very defensive manner. If the manager were to say, “it would be good if you
allowed yourself to relax more at work” then the reaction would be different
and while the person may not actually relax now they would not have the image
of being defensive.
Similarly, if
a person with challenging behaviours were told to stop being aggressive they
have to think about being aggressive before being able to stop it! This is
particularly problematic when the individual does not perceive themselves as
being aggressive in the first place. In such instances it is far better to
focus on positive words such as relax, calm etc, (although calm down can be an
issue – calm down from what?) as these words are better suited to the state you
wish the person to achieve.
Even on a
minor level we have to be careful what words we use. If I were to say – don’t
forget to share this blog with others – the possibility is that you would
forget! Yet if I said REMEMBER to share
this blog with others I am far more likely to get a positive result.
If you have
read this far the purple badgers have probably slipped from your mind, oops
they are back again! But in the future any time pink elephants are mentioned
you’ll naturally have an image of purple badgers too!
Language is
intensely powerful and it is important that, in social care, we are aware of
this power. It is by no means easy to consciously and continuously control what
you say to others but we have to be aware that the behaviours of others can be a
direct result of what we have said rather than being something totally disconnected
from us. Effective communication is the cornerstone of quality care and support
and must be one of the key skills that is taught at all levels of social care,
if we do not understand the importance of communication and language how can we
effectively communicate with those who need care services and those we work
with.
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